Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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