I accidentally had phone sex last night
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
