Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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