Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
