Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
