GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
