I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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