i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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