Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Less talking, more tequila
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
