Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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