wake up i wanna do it froggy style
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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