you're like a bully in the Christmas story
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
