If you die in college, do you die in real life?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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