hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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