I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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