I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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