Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
