if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Sorry my hands just texted you
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
