So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize