I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
