I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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