we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
