is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
