Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
