i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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