woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
