Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
