Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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