You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
