yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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