he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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