Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
