I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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