I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
