Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
