omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
