so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
