STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
