Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize