Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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