Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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