WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
