Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
