you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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