You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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