The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
