im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
