bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
