Four minutes until I can fart!
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
