puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize