Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
