the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
