you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
