I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
