It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
