Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
