Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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