if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
