real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Randomize
