It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
